When it comes to getting your shit together, it is very simple – but it’s not easy.
Let me explain…
Let’s say you decided to lose those 15 pounds you gained during quarantine. You research diets and pick one that seems semi bearable, you determine what days you will work out, and you decide to take a hiatus from drinking. There’s no question that if you actually committed to each of these goals (or even just one) you would inevitably lose the weight. Very simple yet clearly not easy, or you wouldn’t have gained the weight to begin with.
With the internet at your fingertips it’s extremely feasible to conduct research on your own and formulate a plan that will get you to where you want to be. Fitness, diets, financial planning, starting a business – there’s an article or YouTube channel for anything you desire to learn about.
But what happens after you’ve obtained the knowledge?
If you are a dreamer, absolutely nothing happens aside from wishful thinking. You struggle with finding the activation energy to actually get going. The fear of starting and/or failing puts you in paralysis and progress becomes unavailable to you.
If you are a repeater, you possess enough activation energy to get started, but the motivation quickly dies off and you find yourself back at that original starting point, again and again and again. Progress is short lived.
If you are lucky enough to already be a doer, bravo my friend. Doer’s seek opportunities for growth (aka failures) and acquire a certain tenacity that outlast the initial energy required to get motivated. But how do they become so tenacious?
To adopt a tenacious mindset, you first have to clear any limiting beliefs you may have. If your subconscious thoughts consist of statements like “you’re comical for thinking you could actually do this” or “you don’t deserve x,y,z” or “you suck”, mustering up the activation energy to start will likely not be available to you.
Once you’ve adopted a mindset that promotes growth, your next step is to establish rapport with yourself. I know it seems preposterous, right? But because of the many limiting subconscious beliefs that once lurked around in your mind, it’s quite probable that you have learned not to trust yourself.
It takes engaging in small acts of courage to develop a trusting relationship between you and your higher self. These acts have the power to change your trajectory and transform your self-esteem and happiness levels.
When you continually put yourself in scenarios that make you uncomfortable, your resistance towards those thought-to-be-icky feelings becomes less and less. Being continually confronted with disagreeable feelings allows you to become acclimated and make strides towards your goals instead of shying away for fear of failure.
Let’s go back to our examples of The Dreamer and The Repeater. The Dreamer has to combat negative self-talk and an unsecure foundation. It’s no wonder they are terrified to even start. Without faith in their ability, falling in the rubble of their foundation seems like too much of a risk – would they even be able to get back up it they fell. The Repeater on the other hand is caught in an exhausting cycle that stems from a lack of tenacity. Their trust in themselves allows for the initial activation energy to get the hamster wheel spinning, but eventually they end up in the same starting position because they lack determination, for one reason or another.
When you are repeatedly faced with goals that you do not follow through on, it’s helpful to examine if you’re actually willing to do what is necessary to achieve that goal or if that goal isn’t as important to you as you would like it to be. Take for example the losing of those extra 15lbs. Are you willing to eat healthy? Are you willing to workout multiple times a week? Are you willing to skip the after work happy hours?
You may answer a resounding yes. Awesome! But if you find yourself wavering, that’s okay too. The idea of this practice is not to say yes to everything, it is to become uber clear on the things you are and aren’t willing to do to achieve your goals. When you have a clear depiction of how far you are willing to go, it becomes easier to work within the outlined parameters and also allows you to cut back on self-sabotaging talk.
Next time you find yourself missing the mark on a goal that you deem important, take the time to fully examine your relationship with this goal and all that you have to do to achieve it. Write out all the things you can think of that would have to do to check that goal off your list. Then go back through that list you just wrote and decide if those are things you are actually willing to do. Notice I did not say ‘if those are things you want to do’. There will be many days when you don’t feel like working out or sticking to your diet. But small acts of courage are not determined by feelings, they are determined by action. If the end result is more important than the discomfort felt during the process, that goal becomes something you are willing to make sacrifices for.
As I said getting your shit together is simple, but not easy. Yes some logistics will have to be figured out and it will take you a considerable amount of energy to just get started, but if you engage in small acts of courage on a daily basis, strides will be made, and being uncomfortable will not seem as daunting as it once did. Your trust-o-meter will rise, empowering you to determine what is worthwhile and what is not. You will be on your way to crushing your goals in no time.